LA SINDROME DELLA MADRE MALEVOLA
Sommario
Con il crescere del numero dei divorzi che coinvolgono i bambini, è emerso uno schema di comportamento anomalo che ha suscitato scarsa attenzione. Il presente studio descrive la Sindrome della madre malevola nei casi di divorzio. Vengono dati degli specifici criteri nosologici con numerosi esempi clinici. Data la mancanza di dati scientifici disponibili sul disturbo, è necessario approfondire i problemi della classificazione, dell’eziologia, della cura e della prevenzione.
Indice
Introduzione
Definizione
Model 1a: The alienation of the children
Model 1b: Involving others in malicious actions
1c Model: Excess lawsuits
Model 2a: Prohibition of regular visits
Model 2b: Free telephone conversations with his father
Model 2c: Do not allow the participation extracurricular activities
Model 3A: Malicious Lying to the children
Model 3B: Malicious Lying to others
Model 3c: Violations of the law to harm her husband
Model 4: Behavior is not caused by another disorder
Discussion
An Introduction
get divorced the 'foster children and former wife burns the house down. A woman who was at war with her husband for custody, Buy a child a cat while being aware that her husband is allergic to these animals. A mother forces the child to sleep in the car to "prove" that their father brought them to bankruptcy. These actions illustrate a pattern of abnormal behavior that has manifested itself more and more frequently with the increasing number of divorces of parents with children.
Today half of all marriages end in divorce (Beal and Hochman, 1991). The number of children involved in divorce has increased dramatically (see eg. Hetherinton and Arastah, 1988). Most of these cases are "resolved" from a legal standpoint, but the battle continues outside the courtroom.
The media have made significant committed to increase public awareness about the problem of divorced fathers who do not provide for payment of maintenance set by the court. Hodges (1991) noted that three years after divorce, only 20% of divorced fathers involved in the payment of maintenance. The investigation leading to worsening economic conditions of women (see eg. Hernandez, 1988; Laos, 1988) has recently contributed to the approval of laws to tackle the problem of non-compliant fathers.
While the media rightly describe the difficulties caused to women and children by the phenomenon of non-compliant fathers, there was no talk of war waged by a separate group of mothers contro padri che pagano regolarmente l’assegno e rispettano la legge. Tutti i giorni avvocati e terapisti ascoltano narrazioni simili a racconti dell’orrore in cui vengono attribuiti a padri innocenti comportamenti perversi. Purtroppo non vi sono dati scientifici sull’argomento. Anche la letteratura clinica ha ignorato il problema.
Si può trovare un’eccezione famosa negli scritti di Gardner(1987,1989) che ha descritto in modo eccellente la Sindrome da alienazione parentale che si manifesta con una serie di manovre attuate con successo dal genitore affidatario per alienare il figlio dal genitore non residente. Dopo essere stato sottoposto ad un efficace condizionamento, il bambino è “dominato dall’idea di denigrare e disapprove of one parent is an unjustified and / or exaggerated "(Gardner, 1989 pag.226). In typical cases of Parental Alienation Syndrome, the mother and son put in place a series of abnormal actions against the father. Gardner considers the concept of "brainwashing" too limited (Gardner, 1989) to understand the psychological manipulation that the child suffers when it goes against the hostility of non-resident parent.
While Gardner's pioneering descriptions of PAS make an important contribution to our understanding of the present hostilities in cases of divorce involving children, this study covers more global abnormality. As already noted in examples given at the beginning of this work, in the course of divorce cases occur in serious attacks against their husbands that go beyond the simple manipulation of children. Moreover, these actions reveal the intention on the part of some mothers to violate the law of the community. Finally, there are some mothers who have consistently malicious behavior in order to alienate children from their father even if they fail to achieve their aim. In short, these cases do not correspond to the models of the PAS, however, indicate a serious abnormality.
The purpose of this study is to define and explain this anomaly more general with the hope of provoking a more thorough scientific analysis and clinical problem. Definition
Back to summary
This section provides an initial definition of the Malicious Mother Syndrome in a divorce that has been derived from clinical cases and legal proceedings. As with all initial proposals, it is hoped that future research will lead to greater refinement of the taxonomic criteria. The proposed definition encompasses four major patterns of behavior, as follows:
A mother who unjustifiably punishes her husband from whom she is divorcing or divorced:
attempting to alienate children from their father
involving others in malicious actions against his father by taking a
excessive litigation The mother specifically attempts to prevent:
the regular visits of children the father of the liberal
telephone conversations between the children and the father
the participation of fathers in school life and extracurricular activities of their children
The pattern is pervasive and includes malicious actions such as:
lie to lie to children
other violations of law
The disorder is not specifically due to another mental disorder, but may coexist with a more distinct mental disorder [clinical illustrations]. In this section I will give clinical examples of each point using the reference numbers used above.
Since the standard of behavior from 1 to 3 are specific to the Malicious Mother Syndrome in a divorce, I will give a series of clinical examples. The fourth point about the relationship of the syndrome in question with other mental disorders will be discussed in more general terms.
Model 1a: The alienation of the children
The range of actions taken by mothers for groped to alienate children from their father is impressive. For example:
One mother lied to the children saying she could no longer buy food because their father had spent all their money on women in topless bar ".
The wife of a doctor forced the 10 year old son to apply for free school meals for him to believe that his father had made them become poor.
For a woman who for years had been close to children during a custody battle, the mother asked to abandon the attitude of neutrality and siding with his party to "dance on the grave of her husband." When the friend refused, the mother told the children, falsely, that the woman had a relationship with their father.
similar behaviors, if successful, can lead children not only to hate his father, but perhaps not seeing him for years. As noted by Cartwright: "The goal of the alienating parent is crystalline: to deprive the parent not only lost the time to spend with his son, but also of his childhood."
Model 1b: Involving others in malicious actions
The second component of the first pattern of behavior with which the mother attempts to punish her husband, implies la manipolazione di altre persone da coinvolgere in azioni dolose contro il padre. Esempi di questo tipo sono qui di seguito:
Durante la battaglia legale per la custodia, una madre ha mentito al terapista riguardo al comportamento del padre. Il terapista, che non aveva mai parlato col padre, ha testimoniato davanti al giudice in qualità di esperto esprimendo il parere che la custodia dovesse essere affidata al genitore residente e che il padre doveva sottoporsi a terapia.
Una madre in preda alla rabbia ha spinto i figli adolescenti a lasciare lettere anonime di minaccia nella casa dell’ex-marito.Una madre che aveva perduto la custodia legale dei figli ha indotto la segretaria della scuola del figlio ad aiutarla a rapire il bambino.
Nei casi suddetti è importante rilevare che la persona manipolata dalla madre è stata in qualche modo coinvolta nella rabbia della madre e “alienata” dal marito di questa in procinto di divorziare. La persona “raggirata” assume un tipico atteggiamento di virtuosa indignazione che contribuisce a creare un’atmosfera gratificante per la madre che si appresta ad intraprendere azioni dolose.
Modello 1c: Eccesso di azioni legali
È indubbio che entrambe le parti in causa nelle procedure per il divorzio o per l’affido hanno il diritto di presentare istanze o avviare azioni legali. Tuttavia alcune donne che soffrono della Sindrome della madre malevola nei casi di divorzio tentano di punire il marito con un eccesso di azioni legali.
Una madre bellicosa e irragionevole attaccava verbalmente il marito dovunque lo incontrasse. Col tempo la reazione di lui è stata quella di ignorarla. Allora lei ha portato il suo ex-marito davanti al giudice per obbligarlo a parlarle.
Una madre ha detto al giudice che sua figlia non era figlia del marito.
Una donna si è rifiutata di rinunciare alle continue azioni legali contro l’ex-marito, malgrado numerosi avvocati avessero abbandonato il caso volontariamente o fossero stati licenziati. In tre anni si erano succeduti sette diversi avvocati.
Esistono dati che possono aiutare a determinare la gamma delle azioni legali. Per esempio Koel e altri (1988) riferiscono la frequenza di processi in un campione di 700 famiglie. I loro dati indicano che only 12.7% of households have only one instance in court after the divorce, while less than 5% have two or more instances, less than 1% have 4 or more instances.
Model 2a: Prohibition of regular visits
The experts are quite in agreement that regular and continuous visits to non-residential parent are desirable and beneficial for the children, except in extreme circumstances (Hodges, 1991). In fact, some states like Florida have laws written to reflect this view (Keane, 1990). Unfortunately, even when the father and children have legal rights to visits, mothers suffering from Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce continue to hinder the exercise of questo diritto.
Una madre, che aveva in precedenza aggredito fisicamente il marito quando questi andava a prendere i figli, gli ha impedito di prenderli con se anche quando si è presentato con la polizia.Una madre, per impedire al padre di vedere i figli, non si faceva mai trovare in casa quando il marito divorziato andava a trovarli.Una madre ha spinto il suo boyfriend, un tipo dall’aspetto feroce, ad aggredire il marito che era venuto a prendere i figli.
Il presidente dell’Associazione per i diritti del fanciullo (Washinghton,D.C.) osserva che questa alienazione è considerata una forma di violenza sul bambino (Levy,1992). Purtroppo la polizia in genere evita di essere coinvolta in queste situazioni. Inoltre, a meno che il padre vittimizzato non sia finanziariamente in grado di ritornare in tribunale sulla base dei fatti, si può fare poco per impedire questi comportamenti da parte della madre. Infine, persino quando tali fatti vengono portati in tribunale, quest’ultimo è spesso inadeguato ad appoggiare il diritto di visita da parte del padre (Commissione sul pregiudizio legato al sesso nel sistema giuridico, 1992).
Modello 2b: Libere conversazioni telefoniche con il padre
Nei casi di assenza fisica di un genitore il telefono svolge un ruolo importante nel mantenere il legame tra il figlio e il genitore non residente. Alcune madri affette dalla Sindrome della madre malevola nei casi di divorzio compiono una serie di atti volti ad impedire i rapporti telefonici.
For a father who phoned to talk to the children were told that they were not at home, while he could hear their voices in the background.
Another father who called to talk to the children was left waiting on the phone and no one was informed of the call.
Knowing that his father was vacationing, a mother pushed the children to leave several messages on his answering machine in which he was asked to call immediately if it were available to collect it outside the time allotted for the visits.
Some fathers find these alienation attempts so painful that eventually stop calling their children simply "give up". In a scenario of defeat, l’abbandono del padre (Hodge1991) sfortunatamente raggiunge proprio il risultato che la madre affetta dalla Sindrome della madre malevola nei casi di divorzio si proponeva.
Modello 2c: Impedimento della partecipazione alle attività extracurricolari
Una parte integrante del processo di mantenimento del legame col proprio figlio è la partecipazione alle attività che si svolgevano prima che i genitori si separassero. Attività sportive a scuola, sport di gruppo ed eventi religiosi sono solo alcuni tipi di attività importanti. Le madri malevole spesso adottano manovre atte ad evitare la partecipazione a tali attività.
Ad un padre sono state date volutamente la data e l’ora sbagliate di un evento importante per il figlio to which the mother asked: "Who knows why today is not your father wanted to come and see you?"
One mother refused to give his father about extracurricular activities in which children were engaged.
before a football match in which it participated son, a mother told falsehoods to discredit her husband to many of the parents of other children. When he arrived to watch the game, many of the parents threw sore eyes, refused to talk to him and walked away when he approached.
The Malicious Mothers who have these behaviors rarely suffer punishment as a consequence of their actions. Judges, lawyers and police can not deal of all cases in which the father is prevented from contact with children. Moreover, most fathers can not afford the necessary expenditure. So the cycle of interference in the relationship between fathers and children is perpetuated.
Model 3A: Malicious Lying to the children
Given their developmental status, children in a divorce situation are quite vulnerable to conflict. When a parent decides to harm another by lying to children, there may be cases of malicious behavior such as:
A mother being told to divorce his young daughter that her husband was not his real father, even if the was.
A girl of 8 years was forced by her mother to give to the father of invoices you pay: the mother had falsely accused of not providing the support the family.
One mother told the children that their father had repeatedly beaten in the past, which is absolutely false.
These examples of malicious lying can be compared with the more subtle maneuvers typical of PAS, as the "virtual allegations" (Cartwright, 1993): the mother who causes the Parental Alienation Syndrome may hint that there was violence, while his mother affected by Malicious Mother Syndrome falsely claims that there was indeed violence.
Model 3B: Malicious Lying to others
It is possible that mothers suffering from Malicious Mother Syndrome in the cases divorce involving a large number of people in their attacks against the ex-husband. However, in the case of this particular model, the person with the syndrome explicitly mind other people in the conflict against marito.Ecco some examples:
A furious mother has phoned the president of the place where her husband worked (1500 employees) falsely claiming that they used company assets for personal gain and who used violence to children in the workplace.
A woman has lied to state officials claiming that the ex-husband was sexually abusing his daughter.
In the course of procedures for foster care, a mother has lied to the tutor who was investigating the ability genitoriali di ciascun genitore, riferendogli che il padre le aveva usato violenza.
Snyder (1986) ha scritto delle difficoltà che le autorità legali incontrano quando si trovano di fronte qualcuno che è un ottimo bugiardo. Le ricerche concordano sull’incapacità degli specialisti di scoprire la menzogna (Ekman e O’Sullivan,1991) e sulla capacità di un abile bugiardo di testimoniare in tribunale in modo persuasivo (Snyder, 1986). Snyder (1986) rileva che la menzogna patologica (Pseudologia Fantastica), per quanto talvolta si riscontri in personalità “borderline”, non è limitata a quel particolare disturbo della personalità.
Modello 3c: Violazioni della legge per danneggiare il marito
La battaglia contro il marito da parte delle donne affette da Sindrome della madre malevola nei casi di divorzio non ha praticamente alcun limite. Le violazioni della legge sono comuni in molti casi, anche se di solito si tratta di infrazioni relativamente non gravi. Tuttavia in alcuni casi le violazioni sono abbastanza serie.
Una madre ha intenzionalmente spinto la sua automobile contro la casa dell’ex-marito nella quale risiedevano i loro figli.
Nel corso della battaglia per la custodia legale dei figli, una donna si è introdotta nella residenza del marito ed ha trafugato dei documenti importanti.
Una madre furibonda ha telefonato ad una televisione cristiano-evangelica ed ha offerto 1.000 dollari a nome del marito ebreo del quale provided address and phone number.
The above examples may remind the reader of certain personality disorders (eg. Antisocial, "boderline, sadistic) but these behaviors may be observed even in women with Malicious Mother Syndrome who do not appear to meet official diagnostic Axis II disorder type. Furthermore, none of the Malicious Mothers involved in the above cases has been convicted by the court for his behavior.
Model 4: Behavior is not caused by another disorder
In assessing the Malicious Mother Syndrome in a divorce, it is important to note that many of these case reports seem to have occurred in people who do not had received a diagnosis or previous treatment for mental disorders. In fact a mother who had an extremely malicious behavior toward her husband, when divorce has presented several witnesses, mental health specialists, who have argued that it suffers from some type of mental disorder.
the author's experience, for each mental disorder that can think of to explain some of this behavior, there is always an exceptional case. For example, in some cases it may be appropriate for a diagnosis of adjustment disorder: however, there is a case of a woman who, even 10 years after the divorce, she continued to deny the right of access. Other cases might suggest as a possible diagnosis personality disorder, but there is a case of a woman who has repeatedly violated the law by continuing attacks against her husband and against which high-level specialists have never found personality disorders. In some cases you might want to consider the diagnosis of intermittent explosive disorder, but some mothers anger appears intermittently.
Finally, the reader should realize that one side is not always diagnostic accuracy for certain psychiatric disorders is to be expected (eg. Personality disorders, see Turkat, 1990), the other the problem is made more severe in family law at times when they are involved in the process of mental health experts incompetent (Turkat, 1993). Clearly the relationship between the Malicious Mother Syndrome and other mental disorders is complex and requires significant investigation. Discussion
The previous description of the Malicious Mother Syndrome in a divorce raises a variety of clinical problems, legal and scientific issues. Under the clinical aspect
families in which the syndrome manifests itself are subject to serious episodes of stress and anxiety. However, there is no scientific clarity on how to cure the problem. This is particularly compromised by the fact that many of those who appear to meet proposed diagnostic deny that there is something wrong with them. Another
difficoltà è causata dal fatto che molti terapisti non sono consapevoli di questo schema di comportamento malevolo (Heinz e Heinz, 1993). Così vi sono terapisti che vengono ingannati nel trattare questi casi e, come è stato osservato prima, testimoniano in tribunale che non vi è niente di anomalo nel comportamento della madre coinvolta.
Sotto l’aspetto legale ci sono avvocati che possono, involontariamente, incoraggiare questo tipo di comportamento (Gardner, 1989). D’altro canto vi sono anche avvocati che incoraggiano intenzionalmente questo comportamento in quanto ne ricavano un tornaconto che è legato alla durata dell’azione legale. In altre parole, più è complesso il processo, maggiore è the payoff for the lawyer. (Grotman and Thomas, 1990). However, even for the subspecies of lawyers that this may be true, there is a time when the profit decreases. Moreover, apart from economic considerations, many of those who have to deal with the courts that consider cases involving the family, they find that these cases are dealt with incorrectly. (Grief, 1985; Levy, 1992).
No woman who has this type of conduct loses the entitlement to maintenance, unless it is affected by disturbances severe enough to lose custody of their children and do not even go to jail. So many customers complain considerable frustration when they and their children are exposed this type of behavior, and courts seem to do very little.
In a review of writings on the legal bias against men in the legal process Tillitski (1992) concludes that there is widespread discrimination. This is well illustrated by a court of processes related to family disputes, he said: "I have never seen the calves follow the bulls, always follow the cow, so I always give custody to the mothers." (Commission d ' Survey on Gender Bias do justice system, 1992, pag.741). Similarly, we note that the rigor that is applied to enforce the ordinance relating to the position of maintenance is not instead exercised in asserting the right of access by the father. (Commission on Gender Bias in the judiciary, 1992). As a result of these prejudices against men in the process of family law some fathers unwittingly become relatively helpless victims of the system (Tilletski, 1992). This situation would seem to reinforce the willful misconduct deployed by women who suffer from the Malicious Mother Syndrome in a divorce.
course to address the issue of the impact of the disorder according to gender. The overwhelming majority of custodial parents are women (Commission on Gender Bias in the judiciary, 1992). Gardner (1989) noted that the PAS is more common in women, although it is possible that a man who was awarded custody of the children have the same kind of alienating behavior. The author's experience on the Malicious Mother Syndrome in a divorce is similar to that of Gardner, but the writer has not yet found a single case of father who has taken any of the acts listed above. This does not mean that there is a possibility that the syndrome of "father malicious" exists. Indeed Shephard (1992) reports that there are significant cases of violence against some custodial mothers by non-resident fathers. On the other hand it should be noted that so far there are no cases of defaulting parent, where it is for them the burden of child support. Because until now there have been no cases in which the father takes all attitudes corresponding to the models of the Malicious Mother Syndrome in cases of divorce seems to me to wait no scientific evidence that can guide the choice of labels nosologic nature.
What is the spread of the Malicious Mother Syndrome in a divorce? We do not have an answer. Gardner (1989) reports that approximately 90% of custody disputes involving issues of parental alienation. In addition, Kressel (1985) examined cases that indicate that as many as 40% of mothers that is been awarded custody to the father for the failure to visit children in order to punish him. Arditti (1992) reported data users: 50% of a sample of 125 fathers indicated that the mother hampered their visits to their children. Aspects of parental alienation may be common, but it is extremely unlikely that such a percentage of mothers who have been entrusted with the children fall in all models of the Malicious Mother Syndrome in a divorce.
As regards the impact, from the name of the syndrome would appear that the malicious behavior is accelerated by the process of divorce. However, this is an empirical question. The malicious actions can be noted during the divorce process, but it is possible that the malicious behavior was pre-existing, albeit hidden. This hypothesis is supported by research on the pre-divorce parental conflict (Enos and Handal, 1986). In fact it may happen that there are cases of mental disorders that are not discovered until the stress of the divorce occurs.
Finally it should be noted that research began to appear on the functioning of the family after divorce. There are data on the role of parental conflict in relation to the behavior of children after divorce (eg. Parkiz and Frost, 1990, Furstenberg et al, 1997; Healy, Malley and Stewart, 1990; Kurdek, 1988), but have not yet appeared studies on the most extreme cases of Parental Alienation Syndrome and Syndrome madre malevola nei casi di divorzio.
La Sindrome della madre malevola nei casi di divorzio rappresenta un importante fenomeno sociale. Il disturbo coinvolge bambini, genitori, avvocati, giudici, tutori, operatori psichiatrici e altri. Finché il fenomeno non viene esplorato più accuratamente nella letteratura scientifica e clinica, i problemi causati da persone affette dalla Sindrome della madre malevola nei casi di divorzio continuerà ad affliggerci. Si spera che questo scritto stimoli la ricerca così da rendere possibile lo sviluppo di linee di orientamento per la gestione clinica e legale del problema.
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