Many scholars believe that the small evolution of the human world is still immature and for that reason it needs long before they are independent of maternal care, treatments that take several long as any other mammal on earth. The 'cost' is to an extreme dependency on their mothers, who breast-feed and nurture, with a dedication that will define any first child very tiring. But this program works through a process called 'attachment'. As we have said, the mother is worrying is that showing has not developed an attachment to the child, quella che lo ignora, che non prova alcun legame, alcun sentimento, o al contrario, ha repulsione. Non lo attacca al seno e in alcuni gravi casi nega di averlo partorito. Al contrario, la madre che sta occhi negli occhi col neonato, lo allatta più volte al giorno e soddisfa ogni sua richiesta è, agli occhi del mondo, una buona madre che si dedica al bambino con abnegazione. Come spesso accade però le cose non sono sempre ciò che sembrano e molto di questo rapporto è determinato dai sentimenti della madre. La parola chiave per parlare di eccesso di attenzioni materne, quello che chiamerei “ipermaternage” e che gli anglosassoni definiscono “over-protection” è BISOGNO. Infatti se un atteggiamento materno equilibrato mette al centro dell’attenzione i bisogni del neonato prima e del bambino poi, un rapporto diadico sbilanciato invece tiene conto dei bisogni della madre prima di tutto. Sentite cosa dice la professoressa Marisa Malagoli Togliatti prof.ordinario di Psicodinamica dello Sviluppo e delle Relazioni Familiari e Psicoterapeuta familiare: “Il neonato dalla nascita è in grado di costruire relazioni interpersonali. La professoressa Elizabeth Fivaz dell’Università di Losanna ha dimostrato che i bambini già a tre mesi sono capaci di costruire interazioni significative che comprendono oltre la madre altre figure significative, come il padre o i nonni o chi si assume il ruolo di caregiver. Esplorare il mondo attraverso le relazioni interpersonali è un processo evolutionary key to proper development. There are mothers that manipulate the process of attachment directing the attachment of the child only to themselves and thereby preventing the baby "explore" other possible relationships. It is, in general, women who suffer from insecurity and anxiety, and fear of being judged 'bad' or inappropriate, they need to respond to a role or to assume the role of mother as a single, according to a social stereotype But it can they also include women unsure of her femininity or who have problems with your partner and then bind exclusively to the baby. " E 'known that pregnancy and the birth of a child creates a "confusion" in a couple, we need a reorganization of roles and relationships both within the couple's extended family. This reorganization is physiological and necessary, but becomes problematic in certain situations where the relationship with the child is based on the satisfaction of needs for emotional dependency in a symbiotic way. In these cases, the mother seems to 'use' the child to be reassured, reversing the roles. "In general" continues Malagoli "these women have had in their turn, by overprotective mothers who have 'inherited' a pattern of behavior. Another case is that of women who have had inadequate or abusive parents in either physically or psychological. Or women who can not tolerate loneliness, chasing an impossible desire to be "popular" or better to be the center of attention. " The pattern of behavior is 'totalitarian', these women consider themselves the only ones able to understand the child, the only intended to dialogue with him, the only intended to "save" from the dangers of the world. If "exaggerate" a long time in these behaviors may inhibit the child can explore the world or social relationships. Breast-feeding is prolonged beyond the canonical six months up to two, three, but four years is a 'symptom' of a rather common attitude ipermaterno. Se anticamente era considerato un mezzo anticoncezionale e quindi il metodo aveva un suo razionale, dimostratosi poi privo di efficacia, oggi si riscontra spesso in soggetti con personalità anoressica che tentano di esercitare un controllo sul comportamento alimentare del bambino proprio come hanno fatto o farebbero con loro stesse. In altri casi l’allattamento prolungato è una forma di autogratificazione, di narcisismo: l’allattamento è mediato da sostanze chimiche uguali a quelle dell’orgasmo e può dare sensazioni molto gratificanti affini al piacere sensuale, anche se molte donne non sono disposte ad ammetterlo. Riprendiamo il discorso con la professoressa Malagoli: “Il bambino sottoposto a queste ‘attenzioni’ often becomes aggressive, possessive, hyperkinetic or 'avoidant' attempts to escape this control by reassuring becomes oppressive and distressing. It implements a short, organized attempt to escape this attention but is destined to struggle with their guilt and threats of abandonment of the mother. Threats are sometimes subtle, but come and reach the sign: it conveys the message that the punishment is denied the love, the mother threatens to leave, leave. The son was sentenced to a dependency that does not provide neither physical nor mental emancipation. What adults will be children who have lived and introjected like mothers? The message of Professor Malagoli is optimistic: " Children tend naturally toward sanity, it is good that the other parent in such situations is not an accomplice or conniving, but support the mother in its difficult task, undertaking to protect the mother and child from each side reinforcing the emotional bond between the couple to break the symbiotic mother-child relationships excessive. Many fathers collude, they are psychologically and physically absent or completely delegate the parental role to her mother in a trust that is not blind but stupid and dangerous. " Box: Munchausen syndrome by maternal procuraL'amore can take perverse forms and pathological conditions. These are extreme situations which lead back to Munchausen syndrome, in which patients repeatedly and willfully procure injuries. They wander from hospital to hospital seeking treatment (often invasive interventions) and that capture attention with the story of fantasy, often false, lies, and dotted with an impressive number of hospitalizations (just as the Baron was born Invented by Rudolf Raspe). According to the Italian section of Psychiatry (Masson 1992) result is a peculiar variant. Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSBP) is the observation in the pediatric field. In this case the mother is to simulate the child's illness or worse, to give him the symptoms in order to obtain medical treatment. The spectrum of behavior has a different level of severity and modalities. A first dynamic requires the mother to the cause of the symptoms and make repeated requests for health care. These mothers are anxious and depressed women who are waiting for the doctor to support or raise the parental responsibility. Once "discoveries" are not always willing to be helped with a psychotherapeutic support. In other cases, the structure of personality tends towards paranoia: the mother becomes convinced that her son is sick and to substantiate its argument do not hesitate to falsify records or to invent fictitious symptoms such as allergic reactions or seizures. The most severe case is when the mother voluntarily causes dramatic symptoms (especially in infants or very young children) by the administration repeated (and often denied) of drugs or laxatives, or injections septic or ill-treatment. These people sometimes suffer from MS themselves, they come to alter or falsify laboratory tests. Psychosis and depression that characterize a painting so terrifying may have resulted in the death of the child. A paradox, if you think through these maneuvers parents attempt to manipulate the relationship with the doctors and at the same time want to appear as exceptionally pious parents. The disease is not so rare, so that in most U.S. hospitals have equipped departments of neonatology and pediatric intensive care unit of CCTV cameras to prevent similar situations. In the last two cases, when the real cause della malattia del bambino viene scoperta, la madre o la coppia spariscono col bambino per cercare un altro ospedale o altri medici con i quali mettere in atto la propria ‘rappresentazione’. L’assetto psichico di questi soggetti si riconduce a coppie ‘disfunzionali’ o disturbate, altamente “asimmetriche”: in genere il padre è assente (anche solo psicologicamente) e la madre sviluppa un legame ‘simbiotico’ nei confronti del figlio. La figura del medico e l’attenzione che presta loro, è solo uno strumento per legittimare e confermare tale devozione. In realtà questi soggetti non hanno come scopo di nuocere ai figli. Nella loro storia si riscontrano, paradossalmente, eccessive preoccupazioni about the illness or death and in dire need of protection and care.
Johann Brain Mason & Rossi di Nov-December 2003
Bibliography:
Italian Treaty of Psychiatry - Masson 1992c.
Eliacheff N. Heininch - Mothers and daughters - Einaudi 2003
Naouri, Aldo - The daughters and their mothers - Great Pocket Einaudi 1999
Salvo, Anna - Mothers and Daughters. Ties and conflicts between two generations - Mondadori 2003
Montecchi F. Abuse and child abuse, Franco Angeli, Milano 1998
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